I've never had a blog before! But this seems a better idea than my crazy angry outbursts on facebook, i think i will write here! I'm now nearly one month of my meds and my thoughts are going crazy, i am back to square one, i was warned not to come off them, but i didnt listen i wanted so much to lose weight, and these meds were stopping me! Also i read bad things about the medication that it was linked to sudden death. I had been on them 2 years. My thoughts.. my thoughts are all over the damn place. Everything is making me RAGE but INSIDE me as i cant let my anger out... i think i am to scared to, and i DONT want to, i dont want to be that kind of person, i am caring, honest and kind. I will not let my other self out. It stays in my head and eats away at me, im not always like this, but it happens now and again. I am not a bad person and i will never be a bad, violent person. My bipolar and AvPD conflict though i think its a good thing.. id kill myself if i ever shouted at someone or started a fight. Ok maybe not kill myself and i would punish myself. No. No. No.
In a few weeks i will forget all this stuff and be back to having a million goals and training, and going out with friends again, but for now.. i need to be alone.